sithephotoguy (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} sithephotoguy) wrote,@ 2008-09-02 22:19:00 |
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Ruining the magic of restaurants
Alrighty. I've decided to fill everyone in on what it's like to work at a restaurant. If you are or know someone who I'm about to describe, well, sorry. You should change. Haha.
So. As far as stupid jobs go.. you know, the ones you get without a college degree, this one isn't terrible. I'm surrounded by people my age, I don't have a ton of responsibility, my outfit isn't too complicated, and I don't get out too late. You know what makes my job awful? Customers. People who think they own the world. Why would I even have a job if it was up to you where you sit? HUH? I'd be replaced by a sign that says PLEASE SEAT YOURSELF, DOOFUS.
Here are the types of people I encounter and a little bit of why they make me want to rip my hair out. Seriously, I think my life expectancy has gone down a little from working here.
1. By far the worst is the "Actually.. can I have a booth?"er. Not only is this usually not convenient for me, because we have about a 3:1 table to booth ratio, and usually a server gets screwed when you ask for one, but most people WAIT till I put the menus and silverware on the table before asking. Why not tell me first? You still suck, but not QUITE as much, because at least that way I can come up with a game plan without looking like an idiot trying to find you a booth with a server who isn't super busy or like, you know, actually at work. (We tend to only have 2 or 3 servers on at 4, and for some reason we're always slammed.) "Well THAT booth is open. SEE?" Thanks, idiot.. I SEE the booth, but no one's here to get that one. K?
2. People who don't understand call ahead seating. That's ok. Til you YELL at ME. Me? Like I made the rule? I'm sorry you didn't understand me on the phone, even though I explained it as if you were a 6 year old. "No, I'm sorry, we cannot write your name down unless we're on a wait". That's the rule. If you come in 20 minutes later and there's a 10 minute wait, I'm SORRY, but I cannot tell the future. Nor can the managers. So stop yelling at me. You can wait 10 minutes for your damn tacos. You wanna yell at me, yell at the manager, and then leave? Fine. Have fun with your friends. HAH.
3. People who get up and move themselves without telling anyone. They decided they wanted a booth. They decided it was too dark. They don't tell anyone, they just move. What the HELL. How does your tiny brain possibly think that that's a good idea? OH OH. And when no server comes over, because they moved somewhere WITH no server, they finally do come yell at me. Where's my server? I've been sitting for 20 minutes! I'm sorry, MORON, I didn't see you moved.
4. The "Oh, you can't have a high chair at a booth? That's ok, we'll take a booster seat" *Proceeds to move a high chair to said booth*. ASSHOLE. I told you no high chair at a booth. Know why? Your baby's head wouldn't look so good covered in smoldering hot fajita meat. Also, if the restaurant catches on fire, the damn high chair is in the way. Just LISTEN. I said NO. It's for your safety, I couldn't give a crap. One time a lady left because I told her no high chairs at a booth. She made her husband and kids leave. Are the booths that great? I don't even get it. They're not even comfortable at our restaurant.
5. The person who starts giving me their drink order. Haha, ok they don't really make me too mad. They're just too stupid to realize I'm not their server.
True Story! This lady yesterday wanted a booth by a window, and YELLED at her husband to go sit. So I brought him over to one. She gets out of the bathroom and looks confused. I show her where he is and she says "I didn't want THAT booth. I want THAT one". So I stare at her, and say "alright, you can switch" So she makes me GET her husband for her. Bitch.
6. The "Oh, I know where I want to sit"er. Therefore making me follow THEM to a seat. Thanks a lot. You know, I have one dumb job here, can I please do it?
7. People with rude kids. They push me to get into the seat, they tell me I forgot to give them crayons, not "please can I have some", they yell and push and want dough and vomit and JUST DIE
8. People who leave NO tip. That's not even my money and I still hate you. Do you realize you just made that server do work for FREE for the last hour when you do that? Especially you people who have a group of 13, order all kids meals, and still leave a 5% tip. That also goes for people who sit at a table for 5 hours and don't leave more than 20%. You just ruined someone's night.
9. People who tell me the bathroom is a mess, when it totally isn't. Oh, was that one paper towel in the sink bothering you? Sorry, I moved it. Because I'm your slave. Yep.
10. People who ask to be seated away from other people. Umm what? You don't like people? You're ocd about sitting near people? I know where to seat you. In your own damn kitchen. People come to restaurants. And they're allowed to bring their kids. You can stand to sit near them. Stop being a jerk!
"How long til I sit?" "Why can't I have that booth?" "Get me more salsa." "Go clean the bathroom." "Here's your 40 cent tip." "I want, I need, You suck." I can't wait to graduate college and boss these people around! :)
Alrighty. I've decided to fill everyone in on what it's like to work at a restaurant. If you are or know someone who I'm about to describe, well, sorry. You should change. Haha.
So. As far as stupid jobs go.. you know, the ones you get without a college degree, this one isn't terrible. I'm surrounded by people my age, I don't have a ton of responsibility, my outfit isn't too complicated, and I don't get out too late. You know what makes my job awful? Customers. People who think they own the world. Why would I even have a job if it was up to you where you sit? HUH? I'd be replaced by a sign that says PLEASE SEAT YOURSELF, DOOFUS.
Here are the types of people I encounter and a little bit of why they make me want to rip my hair out. Seriously, I think my life expectancy has gone down a little from working here.
1. By far the worst is the "Actually.. can I have a booth?"er. Not only is this usually not convenient for me, because we have about a 3:1 table to booth ratio, and usually a server gets screwed when you ask for one, but most people WAIT till I put the menus and silverware on the table before asking. Why not tell me first? You still suck, but not QUITE as much, because at least that way I can come up with a game plan without looking like an idiot trying to find you a booth with a server who isn't super busy or like, you know, actually at work. (We tend to only have 2 or 3 servers on at 4, and for some reason we're always slammed.) "Well THAT booth is open. SEE?" Thanks, idiot.. I SEE the booth, but no one's here to get that one. K?
2. People who don't understand call ahead seating. That's ok. Til you YELL at ME. Me? Like I made the rule? I'm sorry you didn't understand me on the phone, even though I explained it as if you were a 6 year old. "No, I'm sorry, we cannot write your name down unless we're on a wait". That's the rule. If you come in 20 minutes later and there's a 10 minute wait, I'm SORRY, but I cannot tell the future. Nor can the managers. So stop yelling at me. You can wait 10 minutes for your damn tacos. You wanna yell at me, yell at the manager, and then leave? Fine. Have fun with your friends. HAH.
3. People who get up and move themselves without telling anyone. They decided they wanted a booth. They decided it was too dark. They don't tell anyone, they just move. What the HELL. How does your tiny brain possibly think that that's a good idea? OH OH. And when no server comes over, because they moved somewhere WITH no server, they finally do come yell at me. Where's my server? I've been sitting for 20 minutes! I'm sorry, MORON, I didn't see you moved.
4. The "Oh, you can't have a high chair at a booth? That's ok, we'll take a booster seat" *Proceeds to move a high chair to said booth*. ASSHOLE. I told you no high chair at a booth. Know why? Your baby's head wouldn't look so good covered in smoldering hot fajita meat. Also, if the restaurant catches on fire, the damn high chair is in the way. Just LISTEN. I said NO. It's for your safety, I couldn't give a crap. One time a lady left because I told her no high chairs at a booth. She made her husband and kids leave. Are the booths that great? I don't even get it. They're not even comfortable at our restaurant.
5. The person who starts giving me their drink order. Haha, ok they don't really make me too mad. They're just too stupid to realize I'm not their server.
True Story! This lady yesterday wanted a booth by a window, and YELLED at her husband to go sit. So I brought him over to one. She gets out of the bathroom and looks confused. I show her where he is and she says "I didn't want THAT booth. I want THAT one". So I stare at her, and say "alright, you can switch" So she makes me GET her husband for her. Bitch.
6. The "Oh, I know where I want to sit"er. Therefore making me follow THEM to a seat. Thanks a lot. You know, I have one dumb job here, can I please do it?
7. People with rude kids. They push me to get into the seat, they tell me I forgot to give them crayons, not "please can I have some", they yell and push and want dough and vomit and JUST DIE
8. People who leave NO tip. That's not even my money and I still hate you. Do you realize you just made that server do work for FREE for the last hour when you do that? Especially you people who have a group of 13, order all kids meals, and still leave a 5% tip. That also goes for people who sit at a table for 5 hours and don't leave more than 20%. You just ruined someone's night.
9. People who tell me the bathroom is a mess, when it totally isn't. Oh, was that one paper towel in the sink bothering you? Sorry, I moved it. Because I'm your slave. Yep.
10. People who ask to be seated away from other people. Umm what? You don't like people? You're ocd about sitting near people? I know where to seat you. In your own damn kitchen. People come to restaurants. And they're allowed to bring their kids. You can stand to sit near them. Stop being a jerk!
"How long til I sit?" "Why can't I have that booth?" "Get me more salsa." "Go clean the bathroom." "Here's your 40 cent tip." "I want, I need, You suck." I can't wait to graduate college and boss these people around! :)
